When I was planning my own wedding in 2005 it was my senior year of college. It was a unique situation as five of my closest friends were also planning their weddings during this period. Our dorm rooms were buried under bridal magazines and we were inundated with advice from the world on what our weddings should entail. It was difficult to withstand the pressure imposed by these “experts,” especially as nearly every article included the idea that the wedding is the “bride’s day” or “all about you.” This is now the societal norm.
It is truly difficult to resist the urge to make the bride the sole focus of the wedding. We stand in her presence as she walks down the aisle and the attendants are told to keep their eyes on her at all times. Generally she is involved in every decision made, and a wedding will usually reflect the bride’s taste and personality. It is a strong temptation to start thinking, “Hey, this day is my day. I should get what I want.” It’s a temptation for all of us, whether we are getting married or not. True humility must be fought for, and the best way to do this is found in Philippians 2.
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
(Philippians 2:5-11 ESV)
We must fight the desire to make our weddings just an opportunity to show off. It is natural to want our weddings to reflect our tastes and personalities—natural and wonderful. We have those tastes and personalities as gifts from our Creator. But we are made to worship the Creator, not His creations. And so our desire must be for our Creator to receive the glory in our wedding ceremonies. We do this best as we “have this mind among ourselves”–the mind of our humble Savior.
Although a wedding is just one day, this is a lesson that we must learn again and again. I am learning it again today as I care for a sick husband and two sick kids. This day, like every other, is not about me. It’s about God graciously making me like Christ, exalting Himself in me, and faithfully teaching me along the way. To the glory of God the Father.