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Wedding Registry Poll #2

One of the challenges with writing a book about weddings is that trends in the wedding industry are constantly changing. It’s difficult to strike that balance between respect for certain time-honored traditions while also recognizing that some changes are really good things and should be embraced.

For me one of those changes that I’ve had to choose to embrace is the online RSVP. At first I was hesitant because it just didn’t seem formal enough. But now I think it’s great. The ease of going online and letting the bride and groom know you will or will not be attending the wedding saves me (a somewhat disorganized person) the trouble of remembering to save the RSVP card and send it back on time. As an added benefit, you can automatically import results into a spreadsheet, and you save on postage! Win win.

There are other things I struggle to accept, such as camouflage wedding gowns. I don’t even know what to say about that.

Many of these preferences are just that–matters of personal taste. But some I think are indicative of a change in mindset regarding the purpose of a wedding. For instance, what is the purpose of a wedding shower? What is the purpose of inviting guests to your wedding? We can easily slip into the mindset of seeing people as commodities–the more people, the more presents. It’s like a small child at Christmas–the more grandparents he visits, the more gifts he’ll get. This mindset creeps in without us even noticing it.

So that brings me to my poll for today. I’m trying to determine if this particular trend is one that should be embraced or not, and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

In recent years it seems to have become more common for couples to include a list of places they’re registered with the wedding invitation. Note, this is not a survey about shower invitations, but specifically the wedding invite. What are your thoughts? If you have more to say on the subject, leave a comment! I’d love to hear more thoughts on this.

Thanks so much!

8 responses »

  1. I don’t necessarily think it’s poor taste to include registry info. That seems pretty standard. But in this day and age, I’m not sure it’s all that necessary anymore. It’s easy enough to hop online TheKnot or WeddingChannel and do a quick search to see what stores a couple is registered at. I can’t actually remember, but I don’t think I included that info on the wedding invite. Superficially, I think it just looks better without. Clean and simple. =)

  2. I would never think twice about whether someone included or omitted registration information. I think the larger etiquette issue is registering at places that are reasonable for your intended guess list. E.g. if you know some guests face financial constraints, it’s polite to register some more affordable items at Target/Bed, Bath, and Beyond instead of registering only at Restoration Hardware.

    • Catherine Parks

      Thanks for the post, Justin. That is a great point. I have looked at registries before in shock at the prices of some of the items, thinking maybe I could pool resources with 5 or 6 other people in order to afford something.

  3. starbucksgirl69

    Nothing screams “buy me a gift” like a registry card placed in a wedding invitation. Wedding invitations are just that….an invitation to the wedding not a solicitation.

    …..I’ve never had a problem finding a registry online. Never.

    • Catherine Parks

      So here’s a question–do you think at some point this becomes so normal that it doesn’t carry that stigma? Because it seems like it doesn’t bother a lot of people.

  4. I don’t allow myself to feel bullied. If I already have something in mind for a gift I go ahead and give it. If I have no clue what to give the newlyweds, a registry saves me the stress of guessing. To me it’s just a suggestion for the undecided.

    • Catherine Parks

      I agree with you now, Suzanne, and thanks for the comment. When I was getting married, though, I found myself getting a little peeved when things weren’t on the registry. I was very much focused on the gift and not the person who took the time to give it. More entitlement, less gratitude.


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