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Book Survey – Throwing the Bouquet and Garter

'Bouquet toss' photo (c) 2008, John Mayer - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/
As I write this book I continue to realize how tempting it is to just fill it with my opinions. But that is not the point of the book, and I pray and strive to make it not about me or what I think. At the same time, I cannot just shrug off my own thoughts without examining them to see why I think a certain way.

The beauty is I’m learning this applies to all areas of life–generally I think a certain way for one of two reasons: 1. It happens to be what I believe fits with a gospel-centered perspective and goal, or 2. It’s just my personal preference based on my own tastes (much of the time from selfishness).

I want my motivation in writing this book to always be Reason #1.

Over the next week or two I will be posting a bit about the bouquet and garter toss traditions, but first I would like to do a quick survey to see what YOU think–did you do one? Do you think they’re a good idea? Do they have any negative connotations for you?

I would be so grateful if you would take a quick minute to answer the question below.

AND, please leave comment or shoot me an email (catherinestrodeparks(at)gmail(dot)com) if you have more thoughts! Thanks so much.

8 responses »

  1. Hi Catherine, you probably don’t remember me but I used to babysit for your parents a very long time ago. You and you brother were always such sweet children and a delight to care for.

    Anyway, I love the concept for this book. I opted for a semi non-traditional wedding and we did not do the garter toss. I find it trashy. If you can find a way to make a garter seek and find and toss God honoring, sweet, innocent, and pure, I’d love to hear about it!

    Reply
    • Catherine Parks

      Vicki, thanks for much for reading and commenting! Yes, I do remember you and was telling my husband I loved pretending my name was Vicki :). Thanks for your thoughts!

      Reply
  2. I did both. Having attended quite a few weddings since then, I decided I don’t like either. Tossing the bouquet at a bunch of single women…some who do not want to be standing there … with the idea that the one who catches the bouquet is next to be married ?? is just .. I can’t think of the right word. Not right.

    Reply
    • Catherine Parks

      Good thoughts, Melissa, and I tend to agree with you.I have a friend who was pointing out to me that it sometimes depend on your age and the people there. She said her friends were all young and single and it was a fun aspect of the reception, but in other cases you have just a few ladies who are singled out for a much for awkward toss. So I tend to agree with you, but am recognizing that (as with most things) I can’t just say, “This is always a bad idea.” Although I’m pretty opinionated and generally want to say exactly that :).

      Reply
  3. We did not do the traditional “throw the garter and bouquet”, but we did an alternative. Although, I must admit, it had nothing to do with the gospel. I had a small “throw bouquet” made and bought a garter, but never put it on. That just wasn’t me :) So, we took a poll at the reception for which couple was married the longest, and presented that couple with both the bouquet and garter. There were some guests that were disappointed that I didn’t do the traditional toss, but oh well.

    Reply
    • Catherine Parks

      I love the idea of honoring the longevity of marriage–we did something similar and it was one of my favorite things about our wedding. Thanks for the comment!

      Reply
  4. I know I’m too late for this survey, but thought I’d share my 2 cents’ anyway! My daughter recently became engaged, so my thoughts have turned to wedding things, often drawing me back 25 years to my own wedding…

    Shortly before I was married I attended a wedding in which the bride, in lieu of tossing her bouquet, had a special bouquet made which she was able to dismantle and give pieces of to the important women in her life: Her mother, her new mother-in-law, the grandmothers… It was a beautiful sentiment, honouring those women whose legacy she was blessed to have. I forget why I opted not to do this at my own wedding, but I still think it was a beautiful and meaningful alternative to a silly tradition. I also love the idea I read in another of your posts about giving a flower or bouquet to the couple(s) married the longest! What a wonderful way to honour marriage!

    I am so glad to have found your blog and have pointed my daughter to it! I’m sure it will encourage her as she plans her wedding!

    Reply
    • Thanks for your encouragement, Heather! I love that idea! It’s a beautiful way of honoring several women. I’d love to include it in the book. Thanks so much.

      Reply

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