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Help Needed: How to Choose Your Wedding Party

Last week a reader asked if I could give some advice on how to choose wedding attendants–bridesmaids and groomsmen. This is a great question and I do have some thoughts. Much of what I have to say, however, actually comes from the wisdom of others. So before I chime in I thought I’d put it out to you, the readers, to see what you think.

So, if you have thoughts on this topic–what to do, what not to do, what you wish you had done, what you plan to do–please chime in. In a couple of days I will compile some of the comments into a post on how to choose a wedding party.

Thanks to those who read, encourage, share and pray. May Christ be honored and the Father glorified through our words on this site.

6 responses »

  1. I think family is an easy choice for the wedding party, when siblings aren’t an option it gets a little more tricky :)

    I know that doesn’t help much. I had other thoughts but as I was typing them out I realized they weren’t applicable in many instances.

  2. I’m not married, so I haven’t gone through this personally, but I think that from a Christian perspective, the wedding party isn’t merely a group of close friends that you want to celebrate with you. They’re the people you ask to stand as witnesses to your covenant vows, and to encourage you in & hold you accountable to those vows in the future. They’re the people who will strengthen your marriage, not just look good in the colors we’ve chosen. That may not make the choice easy, but I do think it gives some helpful perspective.

  3. Keep the wedding party small. It saves you time, effort, and money. We both selected close friends who we have been friends with for a long time.

  4. When I chose groomsmen last year, I chose men who were brothers in Christ and had godly marriages so they would be able to hold me accountable to being a godly husband. Also, they were able to offer the encouragement and counsel that single men could not provide.

  5. For your bridesmaids, choose your close friends, those who have been an influence in your life, and it helps to stick to either a matron of honor or maid or honor (she will be helping alot with the planning–hopefully!) & also always a help with last minute things, and 3 bridesmaids. For Groomsmen–have your husband to be choose those who have influenced his life, perhaps a brother, or good friend. Pick those who you can rely on and that are trustworthy. honest. Also maybe at least one that is married because they will also be able to give you insight & wisdom in the years to come if you are close friends with them. From my wedding planning…it helped alot.

  6. Also, not sure if you are going to have a ring bearer or flower girls–I had a boy bell ringer…he walked down the aisle with a handbell, and walked up the steps, rang the bell twice in the air, and then once down at midway for 2:30 p.m. It was the most precious sounds that I heard. My two nieces from my husband’s side were the flower girls…and they sat down after they went through the aisle..(just due to it would be a long time they would have to stand).

    I would add to the wedding party—choose those who you respect and admire–ones that you are comfortable around. (You wouldn’t want someone planning a shower/party and not check with you to go over their ideas, or plan a kind of party you would be embarrassed to be at if you get what I am saying :-)!

    Also as you get a lot of advice, you will have many tell you and your “husband to be” that you should do this or that, or to think of the “guests” that are coming, do what you and your husband would want to do and that would glorify God. It’s one day of your life—choose the desires you both have for your wedding day…in all aspects of that day. Don’t let someone persuade you to do something you both do not want to do on your wedding day.


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